Man, I crack myself up.....

For no reason other than they make me laugh every time I think about them, I’m gonna post a few of my favorite movie quotes. And if you haven’t seen any of these movies, leave your work/school/house immediately and go rent them right now, I'll cover for you.

(All of these were borrowed from IMDB.com)

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1

Capt. Doyle: Don't be so fast to thank me on this, Luger, because you're going to be naked on this one. It's on the line for you. People are going to be watching. Now you blow it, you're going down. You screw up, you're going to be hung out to dry. You drop the ball, you're going to be left twisting in the wind. If you embarrass this department, your pants will be dancing with figs. Is that clear?
Luger: Everything except for the dancing with figs part.

[Colt and Luger's car blows up]
Colt: Good thing we took valet.
Luger: Taxi!
[The taxi blows up]
Colt: I guess we're making somebody nervous. But I'll tell you this: It's gonna take a helluva lot more than a couple of car bombs to get us off of this case.
Luger: Not a helluva lot more.

Eurotrip

Hooligan: So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yarbles!
[Laughs]
Cooper: Wow. You guys are on a completely different level of swearing here.

Brain Donors

Roland T. Flakfizer: I didn't know the meaning of the word "no," but he had it down pretty good.

Roland T. Flakfizer: Some day you'll have my children. In fact, they're in the car if you want them.

Roland T. Flakfizer: If there's anything I can ever do for you... forget it, because I don't do those kinds of things.

Jacques: Are you Roland T. Flakfizer?
Flakfizer: That all depends. Do I owe you money?
Jacques: No.
Flakfizer: In a drunken stupor, did I promise to marry you?
Jacques: No.
Flakfizer: Then I'm your man!

Top Secret

General Streck, German High Command: [Talking on the phone] What is the condition of Sergeant Kruger?
[Pause]
General Streck, German High Command: Very well, let me know if there is any change in his condition.
[Hangs up]
General Streck, German High Command: He's dead.

Latrine, Resistance Member: [Throws dead carrier pigeon on table]
Latrine, Resistance Member: We have a traitor in our midst.
Deja Vu: Well done, Latrine. I see that you have taken care of him appropriately.
Du Quois: [Looks at Deja Vu] Not the bird, you fool! This is a carrier pigeon on its way to the German Headquarters.

And I almost forgot....

Get Over It

Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: I'd like you to read this poster and tell me what it says at the bottom.
Kelly: "No food or drink allowed in the auditorium at any time."
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: It says "Twelve original songs by Dr. Desmond Forest Oates."
Kelly: Oh, that part.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Yes, that part. I'll tell you what it doesn't say. It doesn't say "Additional lyrics by little miss sassy pants."

Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Go Del.
Del: Go bid the huntsmen, wake them with their horns.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Hold it- yes um- um what can I... You'd tell me if you'd had a stroke

Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Mr. Landers, how nice of you to join us. And thanks for not showering. What a super instinct.

Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: What direction do you think "left" is? See, because if you go with your instinct and reverse it, I think we have something happening. How difficult is this? I'm so alone, I think.
Jessica: I am trying. You are intimidating me.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Well you are FRIGHTENING me. You understand that? How do you get dressed in the morning? Do you have people come in, or do you just lie in state?

Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Keep icing your front bum. Swelling continues if you don't ice. And I need you... not really.